"Being grounded sucks," Impulse frowned. His real name was Bart Allen.

"No kidding," Superboy replied. He didn't have a real name for sure, but he assumed it was Kon-El.

That was a conversation that the two had had over and over again since the Red Tornado had grounded the team. Recently, the team's activities had grabbed them a lot of attention, and it wasn't all positive. Many questioned if the team was really doing good, or if they were just trying to pull off a scam . . . like maybe they were all villains masquerading as heroes or something foolish like that. But then again, they had been seen attacking a government facility . . . the World Trade Center . . . battling in Central Park . . . Chicago and Springfield, Illinois . . . and, most recently and most importantly, the Hellfire Club.

Despite the best of intentions and repeated victories, they just weren't winning over the public. So their mentor and guide, the Red Tornado, thought it best to temporarily disband the team until things calmed down. Robin had been sent out to be guided by Batman, while Wonder Girl and Arrowette were sent home to their mothers to live normal lives for awhile. That left Superboy, Impulse, Cannonball, Jade, Magik and Firebird stuck at the base, completely bored out of their minds.

"I've beaten every video game we have twice . . . " Bart frowned, twiddling his thumbs at lightning speed. That was his power. He was one of the fastest people alive.

"Linda's been keepin' me entertained," Superboy shrugged. He had the power of tactile telekinesis. Linda was Linda Danvers, his girlfriend better known as Firebird.

"Really? Do you think she could entertain me?"

"What? Bart--"

"I mean, does she have some game I don't know of?"

"Oh . . . " Superboy rubbed the back of his head. "No . . . "

Bart cocked his head. "Then what do you guys do all the time?"

"You'll understand when you get a girlfriend," Kon rolled his eyes.

"I have girlfriends! Cissie and Cassie are my friends . . . well, more Cissie than Cassie. And I like Jenn, too!"

Superboy smacked his head. "No, not a friend that happens to be female . . . a girlfriend! Y'know, someone who you go out with?"

"We go out on missions all the time!"

He sighed. "No, on dates! That involve dating! Where you buy a girl flowers, take her to a movie, treat her to dinner? A girlfriend in the sense that you kiss, maybe fall in love?"

"Kiss?" Bart asked. "That's gross. Why would you want to kiss a girl?"

"I give up . . . " Superboy shook his head. "Go away already."

"Oh . . . okay," Bart shrugged. He sped off, and in another instant was in the team's kitchen. "Helloooo? No one's here . . . "

He continued speeding around and found no one. Superboy and Linda were almost always in Linda's room. Jade and Cannonball were almost always in Sam's room. And Magik, well . . . he could just never find her.

"I'm soooo boooored!" he cried. "There's absolutely nothing for me to do! It's so depressing . . . "

He sighed.

"I guess I'll just go sleep . . . "

Two seconds later, Impulse was in his room, under the covers and ready for bed. He had to take two pills every night to help him sleep. He didn't mind anymore. But without them, there would be very little chance of his body relaxing enough for him to actually rest. So soon, Bart closed his eyes, drifted away . . . and suddenly . . .

Cissie . . . ?

She stood there wearing a tight black dress, explaining her story to him.

"I don't know where else I can turn, Mr. Allen. Everyone who's anyone says you're the best private eye in the city. I--Mister Allen, am I boring you?"

"Huh?" he asked, turning his attention from all the little pieces of the old office towards Cissie. "Oh, well, yeah . . . sort of. Where are we, anyway? And what year is it?"

"Is this that famous wit I've heard so much about?" she asked with a smile. She winked at him as she lifted herself to a seat on top of his desk.

"Okay, that's it!" he said, getting up and speeding around the office. "Robin? Superboy? Come on out you guys, I know you're here somewhere!"

He was looking under stacks of papers and in file cabinet drawers.

"Why, Mister Allen!" Cissie exclaimed with a quaint little laugh, very unlike herself. "I'd heard you were good, but I had no idea! I hope you don't do everything so . . . fast."

"Hello?" he asked as he opened the door to his office. "Cassie?"

Sitting at the desk in the room adjacent his office was Wonder Girl, wearing a dress and sitting by a typewriter. She looked up. "Yes, Mister Allen?"

"What's going on . . . ?" he asked, completely clueless.

"I believe I was in the middle of trying to hire you," Cissie said from his office. "If you don't mind, that is . . . "

"No, go ahead," Cassie said. "Miss . . . ?"

"King-Jones-Robin," she answered. "Cissie King-Jones-Robin. I think my husband is having an affair."

"What kinda affair?" Bart asked curiously.

"What do you think, Bart?" Cassie asked. "Jeez . . . she means her husband's seeing another woman!"

Cissie nodded. "I think he's going to divorce me and keep all my money!"

Bart gave her a puzzled look.

"I'm very wealthy, Mister Allen," she said. "Very wealthy . . . my family has a long line of wealthy and famous archers in it. And I believe my husband will leave me and take my money . . . maybe even by killing me!"

"Gosh!" Cassie exclaimed.

"Mr. Allen, I'm begging you," she said, "please protect me."

"Mr. Allen will be glad to help you, ma'am," Cassie grinned.

"Are we there yet?" Bart asked.

"You just asked me that five minutes ago," Cissie replied. "You're so eager to protect me, aren't you? You're such a big, strong man."

"Whatever," he shrugged. "Why's this car so slow?"

"There it is, just up ahead Mr. Allen," she said. They car pulled into a long driveway leading up to a very large house. "As I said . . . my family line is very wealthy."

"Heeeey, this place is cool!" Bart said, getting out of the car and looking around. "Do you guys have Playstation 2?"

Later, again.

"Bart? Oh, Baaaart . . . "

"What?!" Impulse asked, speeding to Cissie's bedroom to find her lying on the bed.

"I thought you might be done exploring the house by now, and that perhaps you'd want to . . . keep my company."

"Um, actually, I've been done exploring this house since forever," he shrugged. "I've just been trying to find anything interesting in this, er, place."

"Come now, Bart . . . " she grinned. "You find me interesting, don't you?"

"It'd be in your best interests not to answer that question, Mister Allen."

Bart turned to the doorway. "Who are--?"

"I'm the husband of the woman you're fooling around with, you no-good gumshoe!"

"Gumshoe?" Bart asked. "Wait! Robin? You're Cissie's husband?"

"Quit jokin' around," Robin said, frowning angrily. He pulled out an old fashioned revolver. Another man stood behind him. "Never occurred to you that this'd be your last case, eh?"

In the blink of an eye, Bart snatched the gun from Robin and returned to where he was standing by the bed. "Hey! These old-time guns may be silly-looking, but they can still hurt people! Lemme hold onto it for you."

"Get 'im," Robin said. Superboy walked from behind him, wearing the same style suit as Robin.

"Superboy?" Bart asked. "What gives?"

"You shouldn't have come here . . . " he frowned.

"Robin shouldn't have started having an affair!" Cissie yelled from the bed.

"An affair?" Robin asked. "How'd . . . I mean . . . I'm not--"

There was a tapping at the window, and then a figure draped in a purple cloak and black mask bust in.

"What the?" Bart asked.

"Oops," the woman in the cloak said. "I . . . I thought you said . . . you'd be alone!"

"I was supposed to be," Robin frowned. "But things got complicated . . . "

"Who is she?" Cissie asked. "Who's the tart that's stolen you from me?"

"Watch your language," the cloaked girl replied. "And from the look of things, who're you to call me a tart?"

"Yeah," Robin said. "I think I've worked this story out. I come home one night to find my wife in bed with the private eye Bart Allen. I'm shocked to realize that she's having an affair. Allen, realizing what I could do to his career, pulled a gun on me and tried to stop me. Luckily, my body guard Kon here, saved me. A fire fight began, in which my wife was killed in the crossfire. Mister El won the battle, killing Mister Allen. With a heavy heart, I carried on, taking the King-Jones estate into my own, as a way of making up for the fact that my wife cheated on me."

"You won't get away with it!" Cissie cried.

"Who's gonna stop me?" Robin asked. "Certainly not Mister Allen, here."

"Oh yeah?" Bart asked. "I don't wanna hurt you guys . . . but this'll just take a second!"

Bart moved quickly, ripping up carpet from the floor and wrapping it around Robin and Superboy, tying them up.

He dusted off his hands, admiring his work. "See?"

"So you admit it!" Cissie said. "You were going to kill me all along! You only married me for my money! You've never loved me . . . you've always loved this . . . this . . . bitch!"

The cloaked figured gasped.

"It's not true!" Robin exclaimed. "I loved you, once . . . but the Spoiler's better than you'll ever be!"

"The Spoiler?" Bart asked, looking at the cloaked and masked woman.

"Let's see who she really is!" Cissie exclaimed.

She grabbed hold of the Spoiler and ripped off her mask. "What? She's . . . she's--"

"Cissie?" Bart asked, looking at the face beneath the mask. "You're . . . the same person?"

He looked back and forth, then blinked . . . and suddenly . . .

"Superboy!"

"Gah!" he exclaimed, quickly turning around from the mirror.

"I just had the weirdest dream!"

"Don't you ever knock?"

"ItwasalongtimeagolikeintheolddaysandIwasaprivateeyeinvestigatingsomethingandyouandcissieand
cassieandrobinwereallthereand--"

"Slow down!" Superboy yelled.

"Oh. Robin was cheating on Cissie with the Spoiler! Only the Spoiler was Cissie!"

" . . . Bart?"

"Yeah?"

"Go away!"

"Yeesh," Bart winced. "Fine . . . maybe I can talk Reddy into letting me go to Blockbuster again . . . "

And Impulse sped off.