A Losers Week Special
FOOL KILLER

December 2000 - #1
A World of Fools
by Bob Young
1970: In Greenwich, Connecticut, a child is born to an upper class family. The boy, Solomon Wise, enjoyed his early childhood, having all the luxuries he needed. The first 10 years of his life were spent this way. Until the day everything changed!

He came home from school one day and found his mother and father in a horrible argument. She was furious!

"How could you do it!" she screamed. "How could you be such a stupid fool! Do you realize what you've done to us?"

"I'm sorry," his father said meekly. "It isn't my fault. I thought I could trust him."

"You're sorry all right!" his mother snapped. "You're pathetic. You're the biggest fool I've ever seen!"

At the time, little Sol didn't understand what had happened. It was much later that he was able to fully grasp what had occurred. His father had allowed his untrustworthy, ex-con friend, to be his business manager for his company. Sol's mom had warned him against this, but he didn't listen. Now, the devious "friend" had made off with all of the family's money. They were bankrupt!

They had to sell their beautiful house and move to an apartment in a more urban area. The neighborhood wasn't very good. Mom was robbed twice and the apartment was burgled. Through it all, his mom kept blaming everything on Dad's foolishness.

Ultimately, his mom left his dad, and she took 13 year old Sol with her. They moved in with her old uncle in New York. "I want you to pay attention to what uncle Percy says," his mom insisted. "He's a smart man. A successful business man. He's not a fool like your father. I don't want you to grow up being a fool!"

His Uncle Percy was a decent fellow, but very stern and serious. He lived for his business, and it seemed that he never made a bad decision. This impressed Sol's mom no end. And as a result of that, it impressed Sol. Uncle Percy was nobody's fool.

In 1985, tragedy struck. His mother was killed by a reckless driver. Sol was inconsolable. And while Uncle Percy refused to cry or show how upset he was--He was too strong a man for that--He kept shaking his head and saying, "What a stupid, foolish waste of a life."

That word "foolish" kept echoing in Sol's head. His mother had been taken from him by another fool like his father.

Fifteen year old Sol was present in the courtroom the day the verdict came in the trial of the driver who'd killed his mother. The judge ruled that it wasn't murder. Just an accident. Vehicular manslaughter. He sentenced the driver to 18 months and 300 hours of community service. This was the first time that Sol ever saw Uncle Percy taken aback. He was shocked at first, but then became angry. "That is the most moronic, foolish decision I've ever heard!" Uncle Percy growled. "That judge is a damn fool!"

'Another fool,' Sol thought. His mother's fool of a killer would get off easy because of this fool of a judge! Heaven save us from all these fools who are ruining other people's lives. There were too many fools in the world. Something had to be done about them!

Everytime he read the paper, he found dozens more examples of human foolishness. Would this go on forever? Would the wise men and the young innocents always be victimized by the curse of the foolish? It was more than he could stand!

At eighteen, Sol went to college, to study business. His uncle told him to study business administration, and Sol respected his wise uncle's opinion. He minored in law because he'd been intrigued by the foolishness of the court system. He wanted to have knowledge that would come in handy in case he was ever in court again. While searching the WestLaw computer files, he came across something interesting.

In the forties, there had been a minor super-villain called the Sports Master. He was never an A-list threat, and after doing a jail term, he tried to reform and become a super hero. This lasted only a few months. He finally retired from the whole super person business and opened a sporting goods store.

Sol liked what he was reading. This man was no fool. True, it wasn't a good idea to use sporting goods as weapons to fight super heroes, but the important thing was that he learned from his mistake. Very few people learn from their mistakes. Fools don't learn from their mistakes. So the Sports Master was no fool. Better still was that he was alive and well and living in New York. Sol had an idea. Some would say it was a crazy idea but Sol thought it was brilliant. It had thought of a way to strike out against all the fools in the world. And the Sports Master was just the one to teach him how to do it.

In October 1988, Sol showed up at the sporting good store belonging to Jake "Jock" Thorpe. (A.K.A. The Sports Master.) He took a good look at the proprietor. He was almost 80 years old now, but still was in good shape. Obviously, he still retained his passion for sports and fitness. Jock glanced over at him. "What can I do for you today?" He asked Sol.

"You can teach me," Sol said.

"If you want to learn sports, go to a sports club," Jock replied.

"Not sports," Sol said, "your other specialty."

Jock took a moment to think about it, then . . .

"Oh, I see," Jock said. "You're some wanna be super villain."

"I'm not a villain," Sol said.

"OK, then. A hero," Jock said. "Whatever. Why come to me? I was always third rate. If you want to learn, go to one of the real super guys."

"I have good reasons for coming to you," Sol said.

"I'm not interested in your reasons," Jock said. "I'm retired."

"I did some research," Sol said. "Your store isn't doing too well. That's why you can't afford to retire. You spent all those years as a super villain, then a super hero and then a business man. And what do you have to show for it? How has life rewarded you for your years of hard work and ambition? You can't even afford to enjoy your old age."

Jock's expression showed Sol that he had struck a nerve.

"Let me make you a deal," Sol said. "Let me manage your business for a while. I promise I'll have you out of the red and swimming in profits in no time. And in return, you'll teach me what I want to know."

Jock thought the offer over for a while and then gave a nod to Sol. Sol smiled.

Sol was as good as his word. His business education, plus advise from his Uncle Percy helped Sol to save Jock money, pay off his debts and balance his budget. Plus Sol had some good advertising ideas. He knew that so many people were fools, it was easy to bait them. He managed to increase Jock's business. After only a year, Jock was living much more comfortably. And so Jock kept his promise and returned the favor. He taught Sol everything he knew. He couldn't physically spar or compete with the young Sol but he was good at explaining every detail of what Sol needed to do. Jock actually found himself enjoying the situation. He and Sol became friends. They kept this master/pupil relationship going for 10 years.

Sol was a good student, eager to learn. Jock was a master at all sports. Jock taught Sol boxing, kick boxing, fencing, marksmanship, climbing, swimming, archery and throwing a boomerang. And while pitching a baseball wasn't very useful to Sol, he was able to turn Jock's technique into a knife throwing skill.

Jock taught him some useful non-sport related things too. Super criminal stuff. Ambush methods, how to get around without being noticed by people, breaking and entering, how to anticipate police actions. All sorts of things.

After a decade, old Jock finally died. He left his store to Sol. Sol would make good use of it. Even better, Sol made a discovery. He found the old blueprints of the weapons and devices that Jock had built into his sporting equipment in the forties. The technology was old, but the theories were sound. Sol studied the plans, and updated the gimmicks with modern technologies.

He now had the skills, the physical fitness and the weapons. He could use the back room of the store as a base of operations. Everything was in readiness. It was the beginning of a new millennium. The year 2000. It was time to begin. It was time to eliminate all the fools!

Sol made himself a costume designed after the cavaliers and highwaymen of old. Adding a mask around his eyes, and redesigning the Sports Master's weapons into a motif more to his liking, he could now start his work. He could kill fools!

Judge Lee Balant returned to his chamber after a hard day on the bench. He was upset that he had to make a ruling that would let another criminal walk the streets. But he had to follow the letter of the law, no matter what his personal feelings. He disrobed and relaxed on his sofa. He was shocked when a man who looked like a highwayman appeared from out of the shadows and put a sword to his throat. "Don't yell!" the intruder said.

"Who . . . who are you?" the judge whispered nervously.

"I was just in your courtroom. I see you're still making foolish rulings. Lord, how I hate fools!"

"Are you a relative of the victim?" the judge asked.

"I'm the relative of a victim. One who died fifteen years ago and got no justice from you. She was the victim of foolishness. You were part of that foolishness then. You still are today. The world has too many fools! I aim to see that there will soon be less. Starting with you."

"NO!" the judge screamed. But it was too late. The sword pierced his throat. He died almost instantly. The bailiff heard the scream and rushed in. He found the judge dead, but the murderer was long gone. The only clue was a tarot card left behind . . . The fool!

The next day, the papers would cover the story of the long serving judge who was murdered in his chamber. But the papers would also cover the death of another man, a small time loser who had multiple reckless driving convictions, including the murder of Solomon Wise's mother 15 years before. This man also had the fool card left near his body.

Personal grudges were now settled. It was time for the killer of fools to expand the horizons of his justice. He'd check the newspapers for more foolishness.

Over the next week, more murders--Sol would call them executions--took place. A businessman who was destroying the environment for profit, a drunk driver and a defense attorney who got a clearly guilty client off on a technicality, among others. Each body was accompanied by the fool card. No one saw the culprit. No one had a clue. They were all . . . Fooled.
Sol was following the coverage of his executions. He was dismayed that they hadn't yet picked up the thread of his purpose. They hadn't realized he was killing people who were fools. How could he make a statement that would scare the rest of the fools if the papers didn't make it clear that foolishness was punishable by death? Should he try to make it more obvious?

Then he read one news article that incensed him. The reporter, Elliot Mills, had given him a name. He dubbed him "The Fool."

"The Fool?!" Sol yelled, furious. "He calls ME the ‘Fool'! How dare he!"

Suddenly, Sol thought of a way not only to pay back the fool who wrote this, but how to make his point to the world!

Elliot Mills sat in front of his computer in his apartment. He didn't see the man who crept in the window behind him. Jock had taught Sol mountain climbing, and climbing a building was no different. He crept up behind the reporter.

"Mills, you fool!" he shouted.

Mills spun around in shock, never in his wildest dreams expecting to see a highwayman in his apartment. Before he could do anything, he was on the receiving end of a powerful punch. Mills was sent to the ground with a yelp of pain and a thud. The intruder yanked him to his feet and put a knife to Mills' throat.

"I am the man you have been writing about," the masked man said. "But you have made two mistakes. One . . . I am not a murderer. I am an executioner. Two . . . You called me a fool! Nothing could be more wrong. I am not a fool. I HATE fools! I kill fools. That's the reason I left those cards. To mark the victims as fools, not myself. You will never call me the Fool again. I am the Fool Killer! Do you understand?"

Mills nodded.

"Good," the Fool Killer said. "Remember that. And tell the world. Don't make me have to come back."

The Fool Killer flattened Mills with another right to the jaw. When Mills regained his senses, the Fool Killer was gone.

The Fool Killer made his way across the city in the darkest, least visible places, just as the Sports Master had taught him. But the Sports Master wasn't the only one who knew that trick. Someone else had anticipated his passing and was waiting in the shadows. A large man in a dark colored outfit. It appeared to be blue. And there was some kind of bright emblem on his chest. A diamond? The Fool Killer stood in the middle of the alleyway.

"All right, whoever you are," the Fool killer said. "Come out of there and face me."

The large form of the super hero called the Blue Diamond stepped out into the open.

"I've been expecting you." The Blue Diamond said.

"How did you know I'd be here?" The Fool Killer asked.

"I've known a lot of you criminal types," the Blue Diamond said. "I've been in this business a long time. You've struck in this area often. And I know all the best places to sneak through this neighborhood unseen. I've been staking this alley out for days. I knew you'd come through here eventually. And before you ask how I know you're the man who's been doing all the killings lately, anyone sneaking through the alleys in this neighborhood with a sword--which is the usual murder weapon--I have to assume is my man."

The Fool Killer was impressed. This man was no fool. But he couldn't understand why this so-called protector of the innocent would be tracking him. He expected it from the police--they work for the foolish system--but not from the super heroes.

"And now you've found me," the Fool Killer said. "What do you want from me?"

"I'd think that would be obvious," the Blue Diamond said. "Are you a little slow? Oh well, what else could I expect from someone called the Fool."

The Fool Killer sneered. "I am not called the Fool!" he yelled. "I am the Fool Killer. And I am on your side."

"Oh really?" the Blue Diamond asked.

"Yes," the Fool Killer answered. "We both seek to make the world a better place for the valuable people."

"The valuable people, huh?" the Blue Diamond said. "I like you less and less. Now give up quietly or I'll have to hurt you."

"You fool!" the Fool Killer hissed. "You'd lock me up for ridding the world of fools. You're the biggest fool of all!"

"Okay. Enough's enough," the Blue Diamond said. "You're coming with me."

The Blue Diamond walked toward the Fool Killer. The Fool Killer drew his pistol and shot the Blue Diamond. But the bullets had no effect. He then remembered that the Blue Diamond had skin of diamond. Bullets wouldn't hurt him. The Fool Killer then pulled out one of the Sports Master's old baseball weapons from under his cloak. He had redesigned it to look like a musket gun pellet. He threw it on the ground and it exploded, creating a smoke screen. With the Blue Diamond momentarily blinded, he slipped out of the alley and made a dash across the street.

Soon the Diamond was following him. The Fool Killer was a good runner, and the Diamond was slowed by his heaviness, so he knew he could outrun the Diamond. But that wasn't enough. He had to be sure that he wasn't followed back to the store. He couldn't risk his identity being revealed. He turned and threw another musket gun pellet at the Diamond. This one was filled with napalm. It exploded around the Diamond. The flames couldn't really hurt him, but the Fool Killer knew that the Diamond wouldn't risk innocent people by running through the city covered in flames.

Just as the Fool Killer guessed, the Blue Diamond headed for a fire hydrant. He broke the hydrant and water shot upward like a geyser. Water showered the Diamond. Once the fire was out, he continued his pursuit of the Fool Killer. Water glistened off his diamond skin.

The Fool Killer smiled. This was just what he wanted. He pulled out a third pellet and threw it at the Blue Diamond. This one contained a freezing chemical called oxy-freon 1. It froze quickly on contact with water. When the chemical struck the Blue Diamond, ice formed on him. It spread quickly, covering his whole body.

The Fool Killer laughed and waved at the ice-encased hero. He ran off. The Blue diamond took nearly 10 minutes to break free of the ice. By then, the Fool Killer was long gone.

Once safely back in the store, the Fool Killer got angry again. How could the Blue Diamond call himself a protector of the weak. He was a fool, and he coddled fools. He was part of the problem, not part of the solution.

He started to think about all the super heroes. Didn't they all go easy on criminals. With all their power, what have they really accomplished? They are too obedient to the rule of law and not to real justice. They waste their incredible abilities being gentle to their enemies. They are the greatest fools in the world. If the Fool Killer really wanted to make a statement, who better to kill than one of the modern day gods. Gods of foolishness!

Arthur Dickles was the grandson of Doiby Dickles, who was the friend and sometimes side kick of the WW2 legend The Sentinel. He had heard stories of his granddad's adventures with the Sentinel. Arthur always wanted to be a super hero. Recently, his wish came true. As an amateur inventor, he'd created a pair of glider wings. Putting on a white costume, he called himself Moth Man. This was his debut as a hero. Perched on a rooftop, he saw a robbery take place. Two young thugs grabbed a women and pulled her into an alley. They relieved her of her purse and who knows what other intentions they had. Moth Man leapt off the roof and glided down. He crashed into the two punks. One was unconscious immediately. The other just stunned. Moth Man hit him while he was still stunned, and knocked him out. Moth Man jumped up and down, savoring his first heroic act. The woman was relieved and amused. Moth Man gave her the purse back and sent her on her way. He was still reveling in his victory when a voice from behind startled him.

"Fool!" the voice said.

Moth Man froze for a moment when he saw the Cavalier with a sword. That was all the time the Fool Killer needed. He ran the Moth Man through with his sword. For good measure, he killed the two thugs as well. He left his usual calling card. The Fool card.

"Leaping" Leo was a great circus acrobat. For years he had thrilled the crowd. But the one thing that thrilled him was super heroes. He always wanted to be one. Ever since his life was saved as a boy by a super hero he always admired them. After years of wishing, he finally decided . . . Why not? The thrill of the circus had long since worn off and there had been other non super-powered heroes. From Wildcat and the Green Hornet, up until Batman. If they could do it, why not he? Making himself a colorful costume, he became the Acrobat!

At the moment, he was using his acrobatic skill and limited martial arts knowledge to defeat three hoods who were part of a gang that had been terrifying the neighborhood. He did very well considering he'd only been a super hero for a few days. He took all three of them down in a minute. He stood over the them, getting his breath back. He was about to tie them up when the Fool Killer appeared.

"Are you going to kill them?" the Fool Killer asked.

"No, of course not." the Acrobat said.

"Fool!"

The Fool Killer attacked. The acrobat defended himself but the battle was one sided. The Fool Killer's boxing and kick boxing skill was superior to the Acrobat's fighting abilities. After a brief fight, the Acrobat fell, stunned. The Fool Killer grabbed his head and jerked it around, snapping the Acrobat's neck. He dropped the Acrobat's corpse and proceeded to kill the three gang hoods. He left his card on the Acrobat's body and slipped away.

The next day the headlines read, "Fool Killer slays seven. Two super heroes dead."

The Fool Killer noticed a large number of supermen in the area over the next few days. They all seemed to be searching. For him, no doubt. On TV, the media managed to get a hold of several super humans. Each of them vowed to find the man responsible.

The Fool Killer equated it to the killing of a cop. When a cop is killed, all the other cops go on a vendetta to find the person responsible. It was typical pack behavior, protecting their own. All the super guys would be out to get him.

So it was time to lay low. Only a fool would strike again now, with an army of enemies in the area, all hunting for him. And he was no fool! But eventually, they'd all drift away, back to their own lives, their own cases. As time went on, they'd forget. The Fool Killer would just have to wait until then. Patience was a particular virtue of his. He trained for over 10 years to become the Fool Killer. He could wait a few more weeks to strike again. And in the time being, he'd plan something big--Something special. When the Fool Killer returned, these foolish super humans would rue their stupidity. When he is finally ready, he'll strike a blow against the super powered community that no one will forget.

"Enjoy your Godlike glory now. You're all nothing but fools. And a fool and his life are soon parted!"

THE END...FOR NOW!